Pro/Con

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

For 8 months out of the year people tell me I'm different because I'm American. Then for 4 months of the year people tell me I'm different because I'm Canadian. It's a situation that I can never define. Time and time again I've made pro and con lists of each country, trying to decide which direction I want to go after I finish at UBC. Is it North or South?

Usually the pro and con lists are stupid. It says things like "pro: Tim Horton's, con: No Jack in the Box". Recently I started a new pro and con list. It seemed relevant as I start to look and jobs and graduate programs. This summer the pros and cons list focused on money and immigration and citizenship. In that situation, America was a clear winner. Now I'm back up here and my pro and con list still contains a lot of those same items. One thing has changed on the Canadian pro side.

Names.


It's all names now. And not corporate names like "Tim Horton" (although, don't get me wrong, that's reason enough to stay), but actual names of people I know here.

I can't think of a single person who is a con. Like, a specific person. All 25 Bus Drivers are cons to me. I don't want to give the impression that there aren't any people on the American Pro list. But, at this point, they all seem so distant. Especially when the names on my Canadian Pro list see me all the time, look me in the eye and interact with me. They're real. And I never want to leave them.