Thursday, December 9, 2010

Boxes

Last night some of my friends and I had a "Music Appreciation Evening". What we do is each bring 3 songs and take turns going in a circle, playing our song, and talking about them. My friend Karl brought this one last night. It's called "Boxes" by Charlie Winston.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wNFn4pKoA0&feature=related

Who shall we propose to be ?
Who am I supposed to be ?
With these empty building blocks
I could make a thousand me's

I don't really wanna understand
Everything in my world
It spoils the fun for me
Come on darling you can take my hand
Blowing kisses in the wind
We'll fly away in our dreams
From the boxes they'll put us in
-----------------------
It's a really beautiful song. I've really been appreciating the last few days. I have been so surrounded with people, but it's also problematic. I'm finding that I don't really like being alone lately. For awhile, at the end of the year, all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep in the quiet. But now, a day away from leaving, I don't want anything but noise. I've become addicted to my iPod, but not because there's a song that I'm really into, I just like any sound. Direct into my ears so my thoughts can't go out of control when there's silence.

I feel like there are so many building blocks and a thousand me's.
There's always music pumping through me. Throbbing bass and pounding drums. It's like a reminder to my heart to keep on beating. So it keeps beating.

I've done a lot of changing at UBC. This week I was calling it "growing up", but I'm not sure I have. I've just changed over and over and over again. I think about all the different versions of "me" there has been. I've conquered old fears and made new ones. I've said goodbye to old friends and made new ones. I've been in and then out, up and then down, and I just want a place to land.

I just want to settle on one me out of the thousand

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